Ukuxhumana njengokuxhumana

Wonke umuntu udinga ukuxhumana kusukela ekuzalweni. Ukuxhumana phakathi kwabantu kungahlukaniswa ngezici ezintathu ezibalulekile: ukuqonda, ukuxhumana nokuxhumana. Iqiniso elithakazelisayo ukuthi uma kungenzeka ukuhlangabezana nombono noma ukuxhumana "ngendlela ehlanzekile", okungukuthi, ngokwehlukana nazo zonke ezinye izingxenye zokuxhumana, ngakho-ke akunakwenzeka ukukhulumisana nokuxhumana njengendlela yokuxhumana emgqeni ohlukile.

Igama lale nqubo selivele lithatha isenzo sokwenza into ethi: "Wangiphonsela into ethize", "Iyacindezela kimi, kodwa angiyikhohliswa kuyo" noma "Iyazivumelanisa kimi."

Ukuxhumana njengokuxhumana kudinga ukubamba iqhaza okuqhubekayo engxoxweni phakathi kwezixhumanisi ezimbili. Futhi uma ukukhulumisana okukhulumisana kunqunyelwe kuphela ngokuxhumana kolwazi, nokubona - ngokulalela nje umbono womunye umuntu, ngakho-ke noma yikuphi ukuphendula komxhumanisi kuphenduka inqubo yokuxhumana kwenye isigaba.

Abanye abantu bathola ubunzima bokuxhumana. Izizathu zihluke kakhulu. I-Autism, ukuhluleka ukuveza imicabango yomuntu, amahloni nokufihlakele kuholela ekutheni ubuntu buvala ngaphakathi, kungakwazi ukubona kuphela, kodwa ngokusobala akukwenzi lutho ngolwazi olutholiwe.

Kancane kancane, abantu abafana nomoya badinga impendulo evela kumxhumanisi wabo, baqale ukweqa umuntu onjalo. Futhi kuyize! Ngokuvamile, ngemuva kokuthula nokuthunjwa kwangaphandle, inhlansi, inhliziyo ephendulayo, futhi umsebenzi ongokomoya ojulile uqhubeka njalo ngaphakathi. Futhi uma othile ekwazi "ukukhuluma", uhlele lo mkhuba kuye, ubeke umbono ovamile ekukhulumisaneni njengokuxhumana, khona-ke uyoba lucky kakhulu. Umeluleki umhlabeleli nomngane, mhlawumbe, engatholakali kuwo wonke umhlaba.

Abantu bavame kakhulu, ikakhulukazi phakathi kwabesifazane, bona ngokwabo abakha izinkinga zokuxhumana ngabaxhumanisi babo ngokuthi bakhetha uhlangothi olulodwa lokuxhumana engxoxweni. Mayelana nalaba bantu bathi bafana ne-wooden grouse okwamanje. Ukusakaza ulwazi olungadingekile kunoma ubani, ngokuphelele engacabangi ukuthi kuyathandeka kunoma ubani kodwa kubo, bafaka indlela yabo yokuxhumana, abanandaba neze nombono we-interlocutor. "Umdlalo onjalo esangweni" - ngokuqinisekile akuyona ukuxhumana njengokuxhumana!

Yini okudingeka ukwazi umuntu ofuna ukuba yi-interlocutor enhle noma uzibekele umgomo wokubonisa okuthile noma ukusebenzisa ingxoxo ukuze ushintshe umbono we "ukuhamba"?

Naphezu kweqiniso lokuthi kubonakala sengathi sonke kukhona okuthile okumele sikwenze, futhi akufanele sikhulume ngokuxoxa, kunemithetho ethile yokuqhuba izingxoxo. Phela, ukuziphatha kwengxoxo ngokuyinhloko isayensi!

Isimo sokuqala sokuxhumana phakathi kwalababili ukuba kwenzeke ngokuqondile njengokusebenzisana, futhi, ngaphezu kwalokho, ukusebenza kahle - ukusatshalaliswa okulungile kwezikhundla ze-interlocutors. Ngukuthi, esimweni ngasinye esithile, omunye uhola futhi omunye uyisigqila. Phakathi nengxoxo, lokhu "ukuhambisana" kufanele kugcinwe.

Isikhundla somgqugquzeli sinezigaba zayo zibe "umlawuli" kanye "nomqapheli". Esikhathini sokuqala, ukukhulumisana kuxhomeke esifisweni sokuphatha isimo nesifiso sokubusa. Lolu hlobo lokukhulumisana alujabulisi ngaso sonke isikhathi kulabo abafunde, ngakho-ke abantu bazama ukuxhumana nabantu ngokungavamile ngangokunokwenzeka - "abaphathi".

Esikhathini sesibili, isikhundla somqondisi singacatshangelwa ukuthi sisekelwe emqondweni wokulingana kwe-interlocutors. Lapha inendima enkulu idlala ngumfutho womholi wokwenza ngaphandle kwempi, ukuqonda umlingani wakhe nokufinyelela isivumelwano esivumelwaneni nemiphumela eyanelisayo yokuxoxisana. Kubantu abanjalo ukuthi kuyinto enhle kakhulu ukuxhumana, labo abazungezile bayakwazisa, ngisho noma ngabe imiphumela ingokoqobo ngempela. Phela, uxhumane nabantu balolu hlobo lwesitolo ushiya umuzwa omuhle emphefumulweni wokuthi umxhumanisi we-interlocutor ubonile inkinga futhi wenza umzamo wokusiza.

Ngakho-ke i-postulate: uma ufuna abantu bakhulume futhi bafuna ukuxhumana nawe, zama ukuwaqonda, uthathe isikhundla sokulingana, ngisho noma bekucela iseluleko noma iseluleko.