Izingane Ngemva Kokuhlukanisa Kwabazali: Lokho Ababenayo Ikusasa.

Ukwakha umndeni, akekho ocabanga ukuthi umshado ungaba khona isikhathi esifushane, emva kwesikhathi ubuhlobo buzophela, futhi kufanele kuhlukaniswe. Uma izolo izindwangu zomyeni othandekayo zibonakala ziyi-prank emihle, futhi ama-whims womkakhe athathwa kalula, bese kuthi emva kwesikhathi, abantu ababili bomdabu baba abantu abangaziwayo.

Ukubambisana kwabantu ababili kungabizwa ngokuthi umndeni nje kuphela, kepha owesifazane nomuntu bazidela ngokwabo ngenxa yezingane ezivamile. Ingabe kufanelekile ukwenza lokhu, izingane zibona kanjani lesi simo, futhi ukuhlukana kwabazali babo kuzobathinta kanjani? Sizozama ukuphendula le mibuzo ngokugcwele.

Yiqiniso, kungukuthi owokugcina ukuzama ukulondoloza ubuhlobo, kodwa uma umndeni ushiywe ephepheni, futhi ingane kanye nabantu abadala besesimweni sokucindezeleka okuqhubekayo, cabanga ukuthi izingane ngemuva kokuhlukanisa zizozizwa zingcono kakhulu futhi zikhule abantu abagcwele.

Abazali abaningi, ekuxazululeni izinkinga zabo, bangaqapheli ukuthi izingane zabo zibandakanyekile ekuxoxweni kwezinkinga ezingenabantwana ezingabafaka esimweni sokucindezeleka okujulile.

Izingane zisinda kanjani isehlukaniso sabazali bazo futhi bazizwa kanjani?

Izazi zengqondo ziyabona ukuthi bobabili umama nobaba kufanele bathembeke nezingane zabo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ziningi kangakanani. Kusobala ukuthi lo mfana oneminyaka emithathu ubudala kanye nentombazane eneminyaka eyishumi nambili bayichaza isimo ngamagama ahlukene, kodwa lokho okushiwo kufanele kuhlale kufanayo kuzo zombili izimo.

Ukusabela kwezingane ekuhlukaniseni izihlobo zabo kuye kungaba okuhluke ngokuphelele futhi ngokuqondile kuncike eminyakeni yobudala kanye nomzwelo jikelele emndenini. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwakunzima kangakanani kubantu abadala, ukugxila kufanele kube phezu kwengane.

Ngomntwana oneminyaka engama-2-4 ubudala, isehlukaniso sibonakala njengokushiya enye yezindlu zabazali futhi ingane ayikwazi ukuqonda izizathu zalesi simo. Kulesi simo, kubalulekile ukutshela indodana yakho noma indodakazi yakho ngokunembile ngangokunokwenzeka ukuthi kungani umzali wesibili engeke aphile nomndeni wakhe, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo, kufanele kugcizelelwe ngazo zonke izindlela umama noma ubaba angayikhohlwa ngomntanakhe futhi uzoqhubeka emthanda.

Ihlukaniso nezingane zasenkulisa (iminyaka engu-5-7) kuyinkinga ehluke ngokuphelele uma kuqhathaniswa necala lokuqala. Lapha ingane isivele iyazi kahle ukuthi omunye wabazali uzohlala ngokuhlukana futhi ngisho nasezingeni lokuthuthukiswa kwakhe uyaqonda ukuthi umama nobaba bayeka ukuthanda omunye nomunye. Umzali oshiya umndeni kufanele aqonde ukuthi ingane idinga ukwesekwa nokuxhumana kwayo, ngakho-ke kufanele abone ingane njalo ngangokunokwenzeka.

Intsha isivele iyayazi ukuthi isehlukaniso siyini, kepha izingane ezinjalo zingase zihoxiswe ngemva kokuhlukaniswa, ngokuvamile zihlambalaza umzali abahlala nabo, ngokuvamile ziyehla ekusebenzeni jikelele esikoleni. Ukuze ingane enjalo ifike, kungathatha isikhathi eside, futhi phakathi nalesi sikhathi sonke intsha idinga ukunakekelwa kokubili kubazali bobabili. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kunconywa ukuthi uqaphelisise ukuthi indodana yakho noma indodakazi yakho ingabangani, ngoba izingane emva kokuhlukanisa zizama ukuziveza, futhi zivame ukuzenza ngendlela yokuvota. Iphuzu lokuthi uma umama noma ubaba engavumeli ukuletha umngane noma intombi endlini, manje lo mlingisi angabonakala emnyango wakho. Lapha, kunoma yikuphi, awukwazi ukwenza isikhalazo futhi uhlasele inzalo, zama ukuyiqonda, thola indlela futhi unikeze iseluleko.

Izingane ezindala emva kokuhlukanisa kwabazali zihlola isimo ngokulinganayo futhi ziyakwazi ukuphendula njengabantu abadala. Yiqiniso, njengoba wonke umuntu azi, wonke umuntu ungumuntu ngamunye, okusho ukuthi izinkinga zingavela ngisho nendodana noma indodakazi eneminyaka engu-20 ubudala.