Indlela aphonse umuntu aphume ekhanda lakho? iseluleko wezengqondo

Lingalimali sangakwazi ukuthola ukunambitha impilo, ukuze ufunde lokucabanga ngokwazisa ngawo futhi ujabulele yonke imininingwane. Ukuhlolwa omnene uhlamvu, bafake umfutho ekuthuthukiseni yokudala, ukuzwela ukwakha ukuqonda nakho kwabanye abantu, kodwa ngaso sonke isikhathi, lapho sibhekene nokulahlekelwa of ubudlelwano, ngamunye izimangaliso kanjani ukukhohlwa umuntu omthandayo. Psychology luyangenela, sinikeza iseluleko, ukuvumela ukwamukela isimo.

bathande ziyeza

Ngisho ubudlelwane mnene futhi abaqotho kakhulu ungase uphele ngoba imizwelo yabantu akusazinzile futhi abanakwethenjwa ngaso sonke isikhathi wachaza okunengqondo. Lapho abantu uthando futhi yimizwelo enamandla, awayona lubalulekile abasafufusa kwezinkinga zasekhaya, umehluko esiwenzayo kwezemfundo, bezibona ukuphila, ukushiyeka umlingani wakhe. Kwamanye izinzwa akunakwenzeka ukwakha into ehlala njalo futhi iqine, futhi ngaleyo ndlela kufanele lilungiselwe yokuthi ngesinye kuzophela. izifundo ezihlukahlukene "ukunikeza" ugqozi eminyakeni emithathu kuya kweziyisishiyagalombili. Esikhundleni salo kumelwe eze ukuhloniphana, nokubambisana nokusondelana.

Kodwa akekho usephephile yokuthi omunye abalingani akusho phuma kuba nemizwa emisha omunye umuntu, noma-ke uzoqala ukuzizwa kabi ubuhlobo zamanje. Kulula kulabo kuqala ewa uthando, noma ingxenye yokuqala wathatha isinqumo. Futhi indlela ukukhohlwa bangaphambili lover lowo yayingawulungele intuthuko enjalo, ogama izinzwa basaphila, ngoba akunakwenzeka ukuba ayeke ukuthanda ngesikhathi esifanayo ngemilingo. Isinyathelo sokuqala esibaluleke kakhulu ukuthi yini wena okudingeka uyenze - siwukuqaphela ilungelo wonke umuntu izinqumo futhi bathathe izinqumo. Kuyinto engenakwenzeka ukugcina ngomuntu ukukhalaza izithembiso zakhe, ukuqashelwa esenzeka kanye nje kuphela futhi ezizwa ebophekile.

Inkulumo ethandwayo 'ekulweni uthando "akuhlangene ne ifaka ingcindezi uzakwethu. Kuyinto kunalokho ucingo ukubonakaliswa kwamakhono imizwa yazo yokuthi umuntu okwakubhaliwe, kwaba ukuqaphela ukuthi sithandwa. Kodwa ukuze wenze isinqumo, yeka ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani kuye ukuba yena.

ubuhlobo unpromising

At ekuqaleni kobudlelwane ngaso sonke isikhathi kungenzeka ukukhansela kubo, uma omunye abalingani akaboni amathemba nentuthuko yabo. Kulezi amanoveli ngokuvamile benqwabelana kubantu abasengozini, nge ukuzenyeza nokwesaba yesizungu. Kunokuba bathuthukise - ukusebenza ngokubukeka kwangaphandle, ekuhlakanipheni, umculi okhokhelwayo - indoda esifisa maqondana nentuthuko entsha. Ayikho umbuzo njengoba ukuphonsa umuntu aphume ikhanda lakho, uma uyeka ngesikhathi. ubudlelwano Unpromising kungaba kokubili bayazi okukhethayo: resort noma ehhovisi romance, ubuhlobo luyingxenye kobulili, ukusebenzisa mutual yezinye (uthisha-umfundi, inhloko-isigqila) ngamunye.

Lokhu insures kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ezinye abalingani ngeke uthole imilutha bhalisa cha jeza ngemva kokuhlukana. Kunezenzakalo lapho ubuhlobo obunjalo zibe imizwa yangempela, kodwa ngaso sonke isikhathi ingozi ukuthi abantu bakhuluma uyaqaphela. Nokho, zikhona izikhathi lapho kwenzeka ngokungazi, noma oyedwa nophikelelayo indiva izibonakaliso ngobuze ubudlelwano lapho ukumisa:

• amaphutha asobala yomkhuba noma nobani uzakwethu engathandi wafaka ithemba ekushintsheni isimo futhi "kabusha imfundo".
• Ukungalingani kusiphi isigaba sezenhlalo, ubudala, ezingeni yentuthuko.
• Cishe ukuba ukubhekana nale nkinga kanjani ukukhumbula othandekayo, uma umzali noma abanye abantu abalulekile melanani ubudlelwane naye Umuntu.
• umnikelo ngokungalingani ukuthuthukiswa ubudlelwane (ngokomzwelo, zezimali, siqu).
• Ukuswelakala kokusebenza ngokuhlanganyela izithakazelo mutual (ngaphandle ubulili).

izigaba ukuhlupheka

Lapho okuvalelisa umuntu kumelwe akulungele zikhathi zonke yokuthi ukholelwa ngokuqinile ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuba uphume ubudlelwane emomotheka bajabule. Ngeke baye kuzo zonke izigaba yokulila, okuyinto lifana ukunakekelwa othandekayo ukuphila, ngoba manje empeleni kufanele baphile ngaphandle zokuxhumana format. Yiziphi izinyathelo?

• A beshaqekile nokudungeka. Ikakhulukazi uma isinqumo mayelana ngokwahlukana ukumangala zastaot. Kungathatha izinsuku ezimbalwa.
• Ukuphikisa ngokoqobo. Esikhundleni sokuxazulula inkinga ukuthi baphonse umuntu aphume ikhanda lakho, umlingani ngokuvamile izama ukuthola ubuhlobo, engafuni ukukholwa ukuthi kwenzekani. Isiteji engase ihlale nayo inyanga noma ngaphezulu.
• Ukwamukelwa wamanje isimo nesipiliyoni ubuhlungu wangempela ukulahlekelwa. Kungaba isikhathi eside cishe izinyanga eziyisithupha.
• Ukuqeda ukuhlupheka, ukuhamba kwabo ngasendleleni e igama nezinye izinkinga namaqiniso okuphila.

izinganekwane Key

Omunye amaphutha enkulu yomuntu isitatimende isikhathi aphulukise. Njengoba akunakwenzeka gxuma phezu izigaba ezibalulekile yokulila, futhi akunakwenzeka ukuze udabuke enhliziyweni mayelana nokulahlekelwa othandekayo esisodwa. Lena isizathu esisodwa ngaphezulu hhayi ukubamba ucwaningo ezingabazekayo ngokwabo lapho engene ubuhlobo ezingenalo ikusasa. Kodwa isikhathi ngasinye ufundisa izithathe ukuze ixazulule leyo ubuhlungu futhi uyigcine le vaults ezijulile umphefumulo, uvumela umuntu ukuba aphile futhi ukufeza izidingo zabo. Ngisho njengoba sekudlule abukhali ubuhlungu abathuntubezwe izihlobo futhi zize kamuva emva kokuphela isikhathi ngemva kwezinyanga eziyisithupha kuya onyakeni.

I kahle sesibili siwukuthi nesigaxa ungenziwa kuphela ungqongqoze uqhekeko, futhi ngenxa yalokho, kubalulekile ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka ukuba aphuthume ebuhlotsheni obusha. Okokuqala, akufanele kumlingani wakho, oba ezinye uhlobo iphilisi futhi akufanele ukuthi kusetshenziswe ngoba omunye ihlangabezana sicindezelekile engqondweni. Futhi okwesibili, akufanele ukuba yedwa, ngaphandle kokudabula zonke izigaba yokulila, musa iziphetho kunesidingo ngezizathu nokudiliza, abantu bazoqhubeka step on the hala elifanayo futhi ukuxazulula inkinga ukuthi baphonse umuntu zekhanda lakhe.

Treasonous "uma kuphela ..."

Impumuzo iyofika nini kuphela lapho umlingani uzokwazi ukusamukela isimo futhi bakwemukele isinqumo elinye eqembu. Yini evimbela lokhu kaningi? Kuyindida ithemba, inkolelo yokuthi usengakwazi ukwenza umehluko, ukuze alungise leso simo, ukuze uphinde udlale izenzakalo, amazwi, nezenzo. Uma umlingani wakho has a imvelo emnene, ubapha ithuba lesibili, bese eyesithathu, kodwa ekugcineni zombili isikhathi sabo, imizwa, ababhubhise kwawena. Ngokuvamile, lesi sinqumo ivumela ohlangothini "dolyubit" kuqala futhi wazisingatha sokuvalelisa alimaze izinzuzo zalo siqu futhi imizwa yesibili. Okokuqala kwaba lula, kanti eyesibili iza ubudlova futhi amzonde lowo it is nje esetshenziswa. Kuyinto njalo kulula ukuhamba kuka uphonswe e indima.

Indlela wadedela ikhanda umuntu esimthandayo sika ukuze ahlwanyele ekubhujisweni ababemzungezile futhi uzonde? Hlonipha isixazululo umlingani hhayi sizame ukubheka imbangela e sokuvalelisa. Mizwa, hhayi ngoba othile kangcono futhi othile sibi kakhulu. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi bobabili ebuhlotsheni ungakhululekile. Akubalulekile ukuba uzindle kwengqikithi ethi "uma ...", bagijimele esidlule. Kufanele sigxile kulokho kudingeka bushintshe esikhathini esizayo.

Ubani okufanele asolwe?

Ukubhujiswa kwabantu Ubuhlobo - kuba njalo yisibopho ezimbili. Abantu abaye bahluleka noma uzimisele benqoba ubunzima futhi ukungaboni ngaso linye. Intukuthelo - ukusabela yezingane ukungafezeki kwalokho obukulindele, kodwa umlingani akukwazi obhekene okuthile okungekhona ngokugcwele zakwazi ukwenza lokho okulindelwe isihambi. Isiphi falling in love futhi ewa izibuko rose-anemibala, wonke umuntu ukhululekile ukuba azinqumele endleleni eya ngayo lowo muntu noma cha. Ukungakwazi ukukwamukela lokho kuba - it is ngingenalo uthando, futhi ubugovu bomuntu isifiso sokuvelela. Thina umlingani njalo ukuba akhethe phakathi kokuhlala noma uhambe. Hlala - ngakho ukuthatha umuntu ngayo yonke amaphutha ayo.

Phakathi iyiphi ukuthandana uzama zibukeke ngcono kakhulu ngempela, ngakho udinga ukuba anake lezo zikhathi njengomuntu liziphatha nabanye abantu. Uma ubuhlobo langaphambilini, ephuma, iziphethe ngendlela bengafaneleki, singakwazi kubikezelwe okuzokwenzeka uma epholile emizweni ayenayo ngama-sihawu lesisha. Ukuze unqobe ukucasuka, musa kuvusa esidlule, isiqubulo esithi kufanele kube isiqubulo esithi, "Khumbula cha." Isinyathelo sokuqala maqondana lo - Ukuyeka ibangelwa yokusesha ekubhubhiseni ubudlelwano.

imisebenzi ozithandayo

Izinkumbulo olusehlelayo, lapho umsebenzi wethu kumisiwe. Into engcono - iwukuba Ukushintshela umsebenzi, wokuzilibazisa noma ukuthola imfundo eyengeziwe. Isimo esiyinhloko kunjalo sokuthandwa yafuna lacela umaluju. Usuku kufanele kuhlelwe ukuze singathwesi sibe nesikhathi dalliance. Uma iholidi uyeza, okuyinto angeke sidluliselwe, kungcono ukuthatha uhambo. Okuvelayo okusha ajabulise ubuchopho futhi zibangele imizwelo eyakhayo, okuyizinto ezidingekayo ukuze yena ukuthola impendulo yombuzo kanjani ukuba baphonse umuntu zekhanda lakhe.

Umculo kuyasiza kakhulu kokuba nomphumela oqabulayo. Qiniseka ukuhlela Imiphumela for amakhonsathi bands ozithandayo, ukwenza amavidiyo e iculo yabo emihle kakhulu, ukuxoxa i-albhamu entsha yakhululwa emhlanganweni iforamu. Konke lokhu kungenzeka ngaphansi kombandela main - balahle ithemba ucingo, kwenombolo isinqumo noma abathandekayo babo nemizwelo. Kuyenzeka, kodwa makube ukumangala lapho ukuphila kubonisa ukuthi abalingani ungathola kanye ngaphandle nomunye. Bese kuthi-ke isinqumo kuyodingeka uthathele owashiya. Okwamanje, susa ukuxhumana bese beyeka ukuba bafune emazwini lokugcina izimpendulo zemibuzo lanamuhla.

abangane

Esigabeni sokuqala umuntu kungaba nzima ukuba nje avuke embhedeni futhi ushiye endlini. Ngingathanda ukuba yedwa futhi ngikhale. Lokhu kuvamile. Uma kungenjalo, kungenzeka kanjani ukuba akhohlwe umuntu omthandayo? Psychology uchaza izimo lapho inqubo imisiwe, futhi kukhanga abantu abengeziwe ukuthi ingase ilahlekelwe ukulawula isimo. Kulezi zikhathi sidinga usizo kubangane, okumele kubhekwane nazo. Ababona kuphela ukwazi ukulalela nokukhuluma ukusekela umngane, kodwa futhi basize ukuhlela ezokungcebeleka, ngaphandle kokushiya engadingeki isikhathi khulula. Abangane beqiniso ngeke yenze izinqumo ngaphandle komuntu seluleka ezithile, futhi ugxile ekuthuthukiseni ukuzethemba, okuyinto okokuqala ukuzwela.

Kukhona umbono ukuthi kufanele ukuqeda zonke izinto ezisikhumbuza lomuntu kanye ngothando. Ngezinye izikhathi kwenza kuba buhlungu, ngakho-ke ungakwazi nje phinda konke ku ibhokisi elilodwa noma ikesi, susa ezindaweni ezikude. Isikhathi selapha, kuze kube sezingeni lokuba ngemva kwenkathi ethile yesigaba okukhulu ubuhlungu sihamba, futhi umuntu uyakwazi ukwenza isinqumo hhayi imizwa, ukuthi ayifake yini isongo inikezwe kanye noma cha. Lokhu kuzokwenza kakhulu ancike yini noma cha wathola amandla umlingani hhayi kuphela ukwamukela isimo, kodwa futhi ukuthethelela omunye umuntu.

ukuthethelelwa

Ngemva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa kunoma iyiphi isimo okufanele uzibuze wona umbuzo oyinhloko: yini sokuvalelisa wakhe uphatheke kabi kakhulu. Akukhona njalo imbangela imizwa uluthando. Lokhu kungaba intukuthelo, ukukhungatheka, ukwesaba, isizungu futhi isifiso kubomvu ukufeza oyifunayo - umlingani emuva, isibonelo. Ngalesi sikhathi, isivele kungenzeka ukulahla kokubusa "Ningazikhumbuli ', ngoba ukubuya esidlule ngeke nilingenise ezibuhlungu. ingxoxo ethembekile ngokwakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba sikulungele ukwakha ubudlelwano obusha, ukuze sifinyelele iziphetho ezifanele kusukela yamaphutha esikhathi esedlule. Isinyathelo sokugcina kufanele sithethelelwe uma othandekayo, ngoba lokhu kumelwe sizame uzibeka esikhundleni sakhe.

Ngo Psychology, kukhona indlela yokwelapha umndeni, ngokuthi indlela permutations of Hellinger, esiza ekwakheni ubudlelwano of owakwakhe. Esinye sezimiso - Kutama hlaziya izenzo nemizwa umlingani. Indlela kuholela kwatholakala okuthile okumangalisayo: waze wama umlingani onothando, ngobuqili ukufihla imizwa yabo yangempela ngemuva buso nandaba noma unganakwa, e umphefumulo azizwa umuzwa wecala, ukungakhululeki nokunganeliseki yena. Yena, futhi, wanikezwa isinqumo buhlungu futhi kube nzima mayelana ngokuhlukana, ngakho akukho okunye kodwa ukuba limthethelele futhi ukhohlwe umuntu oyedwa kulokhu kuphila nje wayengekho endleleni. Futhi intethelelo ngisho uzakwethu njengoba sizithanda thina, ekulahleni ngokuvumelana ezidingekayo futhi ukuthula.

Kuphela ngemuva kokuphumelela yonke indlela, umuntu ilungele bemlindile ekhoneni injabulo.